#WinterABC Final Day: Appreciation Letter

Dear Afrobloggers,

Let me start by saying I’m dissecting Afrobloggers into two groups i.e the Afrobloggers who are the mind behind the WinterABC challenge. It was my first ever Afrobloggers challenge and also the very first blogging challenge ever. (I like to call it a retreat)

I’m lucky to have clicked the follow option on Twitter otherwise I wouldn’t have done this in the first place. Thank you for bringing together amazing African talent to the world. I’d never thought that one day I’d blog in a matatu on my way home or late in the night. The blogging community of Africa is really lucky to have passionate people like you.

The WinterABC challenge was a real challenge for me. I’ve only successfully completed one challenge, this was a sit up challenge which was more of a dare actually. This one was different, balancing life, work and my passion was such a rollercoaster but it also taught me how effective utilizing 24hours is. With that being said thank you for allowing us to be this creative and step out of our comfort zones.

The second part of this letter is for you my fellow Afro bloggers (see what I did there). I’m still amazed by how talented you all are, yes every one of you me inclusive. Thank you for putting yourselves up to this. I’m glad I made new friends. Well we have interacted mostly through comments and liking each others posts but that is a start.

Is it acceptable to reach out to you via email or Twitter, I mean DMs and all? I had to ask for permission as I don’t like to impose. I look forward to seeing everyone getting back into their usual blogging element.

I’ve been able to read some of your posts outside WinterABC, again Africa is filled with quite the talent. Thank you to all of my followers on the blog not forgetting my visitors from all over the world. The blog is growing and I couldn’t be any prouder.

I’ll have to add that the challenge got my creative juices running and I thought up a whole series. That in itself shows you how helpful being a part of the challenge was.

Thank you, asante sana *thank you in Swahili* , eyalama noi *Thank you in Ateso*, mwebale nyo *Thank you in Luganda* and lastly merci beaucoup * Thank you in French*

To a chapter closed and the beginning of another,

Love, Linda Stella ❤️

#WinterABC Day 21: An Old Blog and Bringing it Back To Life

Welcome back from the weekend that was. How are you doing? The second last blog of the challenge is here and what an experience this has been. I’m more than grateful to Afrobloggers and all the amazing bloggers I’ve come to know. I’ll never stop talking about how great y’all are.

The topic for day 21 is reviving an old blog and bringing it back to life. Originally I’d planned to revive My Becoming piece but along the way I started a blog series and the reactions I got were far from my expectation. Hence I’m reviving part 1 of the series.

The blog series is dubbed Brave Women, Unique Tales. It was inspired by one of my many thoughts when traveling back home. I had a few people in mind that I was going to ask to take part, little did I know I’d sparked something in many women who have been dealing with conditions so heavy and living their lives down for a while.

So friends with that being said, I introduce to the Afrobloggers WinterABC challenge on the second last day my first guest on the series.

Flower is the name I gave her as she preferred to stay anonymous. Kindly read her story and reach out to the women in your lives. We may not know as much as we think we think we know.

Also be on the lookout for our next episodes (is that what they call blog parts…help) I’m amazed by the number of beautiful and strong women coming up after Flower’story.

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FOR AS LONG AS I CAN REMEMBER (it’s been a part of me that long), I’ve always had irregular periods. At first I didn’t really care about it, one less thing to worry about womanhood. No cramps, no annoying moist feeling down there and certainly no feeling like the entire Niagara Falls was coming out of you when you burst out laughing.When I brought it up casually at any doctors’ appointments (it wouldn’t really be the sole reason for my visits, but I’d sneak it in because WHY NOT? I’m smart like that) the response would be that I’m young and my body would find its natural rhythm eventually.

I WAS OKAY.

IT DIDN’T REALLY AFFECT ME.

THIS WAS OKAY…I HAD MY WHOLE LIFE TO LIVE AND THIS WOULDN’T BE A BIG PART OF IT….RIGHT?…right?

right? *seeks validation from imaginary audience*

WRONG!

The moment it hit me like Simon Cowell hitting the huge red button that is followed by a large red “X” to symbolize rejection on the show “X Factor” was when I joined campus. I started to notice I wasn’t really “normal”. Remember those doctors that promised my period would normalize? Yeah they were wrong.

It got worse and my esteem got lower because I bottled it all up. My period got scarce, I’d get it about twice a year. My flow also got super heavy…pads couldn’t contain it, I’d stain my sheets even when I slept like a log (no seriously, I once googled “how to sleep like a log” and tried to stay in said position all night). It was frustrating to say the least- still is. The salt to my wound was that I had lots of friends but only one out of them shared my condition.

It wasn’t something we really talked about, it wasn’t something people sat around fires and told stories about during camping. It turned into something shameful for me. I would be perceived as less of a woman if anybody knew this side of me ..so I got an empty CocaCola bottle and did what I do best… bottled up all my feelings. (Won first prize in the annual Bootling Up Feelings Olympics that year).

Wow, Anonymous person writing about her story, that must have been tough to live with, the dear reader wonders. Yes, yes it was. It affected my esteem greatly…I had horrible resultant acne that was like a stubborn stain. No matter how hard I tried (and still do) it couldn’t allow my face to breathe. I hated myself. Fell into depression.Hated taking pictures with a flash on, I stopped looking into the mirror. There were nights (and some days…and some afternoons) where I’d cry my eyes out in frustration. It was unbearable.

What made all this worse was that I became my acne. All the good things about me were overshadowed by the acne because it affected me so much. People would say stuff like “oh she looks nice but would look better if it wasn’t for the acne”. I’d be in a good mood,walking with a happy skip in town and get stopped by random people giving me unsolicited advice on skin and telling me to try out “new” things…things that I had already probably tried before as a result of watching thousands of “Get clear skin instantly DIY” youtube videos.

“HaVe yOu TrIed GLyCerine”? *eyeroll* “Drink more water” *as if I don’t already swallow the whole river Nile* “Sister kozesa kano, kajja kuyamba” (translated as sister use this one, it will help) *eyeroll*. “Have you tried this (extremely bitter) herbal concotion?” All this irritated me and my “leopard print skin” even more. (Oh, btw, H.I also brings gifts with her, mood swings is one of them)

Last year my visits to the doctors became more intentional and specific to my hormonal condition. It clearly wasn’t a casual consultation anymore. The doctor mentioned that I’d have difficulty in conceiving at a later time in life and that crushed me escpecially because I have beautiful nieces that I LOVE TO BITS and I would absolutely love to have kids of my own someday. They just became a reminder of what I could possibly never have in my life. A “kokonyo” (translated as a showoff/enticement) of sorts. I got so angry at myself, at my body for being so damn incompetent and at God in general to whom I had prayed severally to heal me. *Cue “GOD WHY ME” and listening to sad depressing music all day phase*

I started to distance myself even further from any men/ attention I was getting from them (not that I had a variety to choose from to begin with), I decided if I stayed alone (with 80 cats) I wouldn’t have to share this tough experience with anyone and they would probably leave me if they found out. I would be a lone ranger! ….aaaaaaaand then I watched “Pretty Woman” for the 100th time in my depression and decided I wanted to be loved and I wanted to be wanted. I wanted to know what that felt like rather than olympic run from my problems like I usually do (Usain Bolt ain’t got nuthin’ on me). I figured the right person (who hasn’t had the pleasure of meeting my awesome ass yet) would love me, flaws and all.

This year I decided to live courageously, to dare to love myself inspite of my flaws because for anyone to love me and vice versa, I’d have to be able to acknowledge my own badassery. I’m a smart, beautiful, stylish, accomplished,witty, beautiful woman with a great taste in music and movies and H.I can no longer hold me captive.

It’s not easy, but I’m taking one day at a time, praying about it, seeking practical solutions because I have heard of people that have been able to beat this.

*IN GOD WE TRUST. WATCH OUT FOR PART 2* *CAST*

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Hope you enjoyed it. Love and light all the way from the back seat of a matatu. Be Blessed.

#WinterABC Day 20: The R.A.I.S.E Program

Today is all about sharing a life changing event i once attended and mine was more of an event that was broken into weekly phases. Around 2014 many high schools were having R.A.I.S.E programs for their higher class students.

They were opening our minds to the life after school which included youth unemployment, lack of funds to enter tertiary education or start small businesses, global competition for jobs, being under-prepared for the world that is moving so fast and so much more.

R.A.I.S.E in full is Reap what you sow, Aspire to be the best you can be, Invest in your future, Start now, Education is the key to success.

We all looked forward to Friday prep nights because of these people who worked 9 to 5’s in the day and graced us with inspiration in the night. Some of the tutors were Daniel Kaweesi (who’s autograph i got), Newton Bayo (the reason girls in class paid attention during these sessions…single school problems)

He was popular at the time so this meant something

So R.A.I.S.E is one of the reasons i’m obsessed with self growth, emotional intelligence (EQ), power of positive thinking and connecting to my higher self.

During the third tutorial Daniel Kaweesa taught us how to channel our positive thinking by knowing who we are, understanding that we are valuable and emphasized greatly on changing our attitude. Positive thinking comes with financial security and personal growth. It’s safe to say more people are becoming more aware about financial discipline and embracing personal development. It is important for us to believe we can overcome any problem as long we keep our heads in the game.

My take away from the EQ tutorial was the tips on how to improve emotional intelligence:

Being self aware by being honest about our strengths and weaknesses. The tutor summarized that into three parts. Dissecting each to know where we stand and how we can improve.(Will attach an image) We were encouraged to take control of our lives, have a life plan (visit Khanani’s blog she is very good at life plans) have empathy towards one another and build trust and rapport with other people.

The three parts to help you be more self aware.

Yesterday i was clever so i wanted to change the world today i am wise so i am changing myself

-Rooney

My best tutorial was that of connecting with your higher self. It’s 6 years down the road and i’ll tell you that I do all the things i learned back in 2014 now but unconsciously. Your higher self is your true being and you can learn how to nurture him/her, build a relationship and maintain it with your higher self.

Why do you need to connect to your higher self? When you connect with him/her you start working with God and make the seemingly impossible, possible. The results of that are joy, peace, abundance and self worth. Visit Luke 17:20-21

I enjoyed the R.A.I.S.E program so much, i wish they could make it part of the school curriculum. Imagine the kind of human beings that would be let out into the world. Personally, it has molded me into a decent human being (i’m still doing my best) and i’ll forever be grateful. I still have my notes and questions from the sessions.

Thank you for reading, have a lovely weekend.

#WinterABC Day 19: Music Junction

Today’s topic is about sharing 5 songs and why they are special to me. Like many people it’s really hard coming up with just five of so many favorite tracks but this was also super easy for me. They are special because i found each one at a time i needed to hear it and carry the message with me.

Taught Me to Have Hope Again.

There was a time when i got tired of being patient. I almost quit an opportunity i’d worked so hard for only because i wasn’t getting what i wanted. Danny Gokey’s words gave me hope and reminded me to be thankful to God for what He has given me so far. I surely hadn’t seen it yet at the time but the hope and patience got me to a better place. Is your heart heavy, are you tired of waiting? Listen to this song, the entire album if you may. The album is titled Haven’t Seen It Yet.

One Way Got Me Out of Dark Times.

TAMELA MANN!! This woman’s voice is beautiful, she sings songs that will make you cry and run back to God if you’d turned your back on Him. For my Good was a song i listened to over 50 times last year and 2018. Do the lyrics of a song ever get to you and have you questioning your life? (Maybe i’m weird) I could write about all the song’s on the One Way album but this one is special. Our lives are in the hand of God and we have to trust in His plan even when we get distracted by what we see. I hope you get a chance to listen to it.

One of The Deepest Songs I’ve Listened To.

I can’t talk about music and not go old skool on y’all. I’m the biggest RnB old school fan i know but if you want to top my list then be my guest.(You have to earn it) TLC lost their member Lisa Lopes aka Left Eye (RIP) but Chilli and Tboz keep slaying even in 2020. Anyways Unpretty is a song that tackles women’s self worth which is still an issue today. When you first listen to it you’d think it’s about a girl seeking to be free from her oppressing boyfriend but the fact is the antagonist is the woman herself. I was curious what the song meant because I’ve known it my entire life and was not buying the oppressing boyfriend story. So listen to it and check this out.

Their Voices, The Whole Album Is Therapeutic.

Bringing you back to Africa, Kenya to be exact. I came across this one on Trace Gospel one Sunday during the lock down times. They have amazing voices for people with small bodies (this is me trying to make a point) The song is a mix of Swahili and English. It has a beautiful message. El Shaddai or just Shaddai is one of the names of the God of Israel. El Shaddai is conventionally translated into English as God Almighty 

El Shaddai Uko na kile me nadai Ulinipenda hata Kama me sifai translated as El Shaddai You have everything that i want You loved me even though i don’t deserve it. Go on then listen to this beautiful song.

I Relate to Every Line In This Song

First of all big shout out to Marvin who introduced me to NF. Marvin is an amazing human being 2019 sent my way. (Marvin when you see this don’t cry, bask in your moment of fame ) Anyways NF has the deepest, most vulnerable, raw and mind boggling lyrics I’ve ever come across. He is a rapper and the only one whose entire albums I’ve listened to. (Ironically the song started playing as i was writing this) It has so many life lessons and pieces of advise we may want to be told but fear to hear because human beings have a problem with the truth.

Yeah, handouts create lazy people I’m not impressed with
You want something in life, then why don’t you go and get it?
Actions speak louder than words do, it’s pretty quiet, isn’t it?
Look at the world we live in, defined by comment sections
Surround yourself with people that challenge how you think
Not people that nod their head and act like they agree……..

That’s it folks. My 5 songs and why they are special. Hope you enjoy them and make sure to try out the albums too.

God Bless You All. Until tomorrow.

#WinterABC Day 18 : Camping Nightmare

It’s day 18 of 22 which means this beautiful journey is coming to an end. Creative writing is the theme of today specifically forming a story with the line “By the time he woke up, I was dying….” The stories I’ve read are amazing and here is a two page novel excerpt from my mind. Enjoy!

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Before i returned home i’d wanted us to go camping for the weekend but Ryan was not having it. I know he is afraid of the dark but they’d be a camp fire to take us throughout the night. So i didn’t see why he was fussing about it.

Gloria rushed into the room and i gave her the bad news. “Ryan this is the one chance we have to go camping before we all get busy with life. Why would you want to pass this chance up?” Gloria said. He looked at us with a little worry and a smug on his face. “Fine but i’m only going because you asked me to drive.” Ryan said. “I could possibly sleep in the car just for safety but we are going anyway” he added.

Two hours later we hit the road me and Gloria excited to the core. While in the car we do a simple roll call just to make sure we packed everything. “Wait a minute….” i exclaim. “Did you guys know we have to do a treasure hunt tonight? Gloria did you know?” i ask. “Well that was the surprise and if i mentioned it before we left,Ryan over here would bail.” she replies. I could read the anger off his face but we were half way the journey. It was too late to turn back.

At the campsite were tents being set up by excited revelers. The music was loud everyone looking for a familiar face and endless chatter from young energetic girls and boys. I’ve traveled with Gloria before but this is the biggest adventure escapade we’ve been on. Left my worries at the entrance because this weekend was about fun and nothing else.

As dawn falls we gather around the blazing fire for warmth and a short meet and greet with other campers. Instructions are given and the treasure hunt lists spread out. Before we head out i rush to the car where Ryan is rested listening to music “We are headed out for the treasure hunt, can’t move with my phone so we’ll see you later” i said hurriedly. “Cool. Hey, be safe…” he replied lazily. I smile and walk way.

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#WinterABC Day 17 : Of Current Affairs

After a whole day of thinking i decided to sit this one out. There’s so much going on in the world that you’d expect me to have a lot to say on current affairs. We have issues we would like to share but how to put that in words that will not come off as mean or insensitive is not easy.

In Uganda just like any other country we have corona virus cases and they keep increasing. Every day i get to move out of the house and see what this pandemic has done to people. My concern is mostly those who are out of work, the people that worked for money not to save but to survive. I don’t know how to put that in words without getting teary. What is the true importance of the Ministry of Disaster Preparedness?

The news is filled with greedy and selfish politicians who are the least bothered about the people that voted them into power. What kind of leaders live among us? The 2021 elections are coming up, they are warming up their lies and ready to blindside desperate people. I voted once and i’m highly unlikely to vote again. (that could change a long the way)

Rape victims have gotten voices but they are not getting the attention they need and deserve. Coming out and sharing their stories is one step in the right direction but what about the rapists.What happens to the individual that left a permanent scar on an innocent soul. One rapist (student of the bar course in Ug, LDC) had the audacity to file a law suit against the female he raped. What kind of lawyers is the country molding? (Pardon me if i used the law terms wrongly) The lawyers to be reading this, our nation deserves better,we need people ready to fight for justice.

“Celebrities” are running out of what to do and wasting their hard earned money to look for cheap popularity in the media. The economy is already bad as is, they could use that money to invest or diversify their brands or businesses. (But who am i to judge)

Outside my third world country home, racism has never stopped and some white people have the audacity to portray their ignorance. I’m not letting all the other silently supportive anti racism folks of the hook. Its is a united we stand, divided we fall kind of situation. There’s something wrong and i still don’t get it. What is extremely harmful or scary about a black person, what is wrong with accepting someone for who they are? I still don’t get it God, maybe one day.

2020 has and is still a tough year but it has challenged me to think about so many things. The people or places i thought were superior are not superior after all. Is the world coming to an end? I don’t know either. Is this a sign from the universe that people need to change their ways, maybe but i will never know. Or is it a second chance at life but to be lived differently, with intention, faith, respect and genuineness.

I will never know but maybe you do. Folks as much as i did want to share what is on my mind, i actually don’t have it in me to go that deep. I’d like to commend all the people in their different capacities fighting the good fight for the girl child, women, mothers, unemployed youth, SME business owners,the individuals whose homes and businesses have been occupied by the ever so strong waved Lake Victoria (will do a piece on this) Not forgetting the boy child too.

Love and light to you all.

Dear Endo

Today we are sharing about grief, loss and healing. It’s the 16th day of the WinterABC challenge and congratulations to everyone that has made it thus far.

I’ve always wanted to write a letter to my chronic illness and i can’t think of a better time than today. Enjoy.

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Dear Endo,

In a few years to come we are celebrating a decade since we crossed paths. I hated you so much in the beginning, you made me feel inferior at the peek of my teenage years. The doctors did not make it any better when they revealed that only death could do us part. I was extremely scared and worried that my life would never be the same.

Before you, i’d never heard of any chronic illnesses in our family so i worried a lot that one day in my younger years i’d eventually kick the bucket and be gone from this world.

As i grew up, i noticed you changed too. Some days you’d cause me so much pain i’d wish to die and others you’d be silent and I got to enjoy normal painless life. God knows how hard i prayed to have you stay silent for a long time. He did answer my prayers for a bit and those painless months were my favorite.

Above all you gave me an Endo Soul

Are you aware you also mess with my mental state? Anyways i had to learn later in life that many of the times i was depressed, anxious or out of my element it was because of you. Endo you broke me, made me have low self esteem and that made me miss opportunities, experiences with my friends and so much more.

What you don’t know is you helped me accept myself. Knowing i had you was one thing but accepting you to be part of my life was another. I like to talk about you so much i started a blog just for you. The day i accepted you is the day i became free just like taking shackles off my feet so that i can dance. (Stolen from Mary Mary – Shackles)

I hope to meet other females like me so that we can build an entire Endo community and use it to do good for ourselves (because we need it) and for less fortunate females carrying their own dose of not just endo but other female fertility concerns.

I love you Endo, thank you for finding your way into my body. If it wasn’t for you i’d be somewhere in the world regretting my decisions but you’ve kept me grounded and disciplined. Will not forget how annoying you are sometimes but i love you regardless. (kinda)

I pray you don’t kill me or cause me even greater problems. I’ll eat right, keep my body active and most importantly i’ll listen to my body when i feel you complaining.

Love,

Your Victim.

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So for those of you who don’t know yet, i have a chronic illness (i prefer that to saying i am sick) I have a couple of write ups on it here and here. Be sure to check them out and get more insight on it.

Lovely week to you my esteemed readers.

#WinterABC Day 15 : It’s Okay Not to Be Okay

The prompt for Day 15 was writing about something close to my heart. They are quite a number actually so choosing one was hard.

Infact on this day everyone was busy writing their hearts out and all I could do was read. The week had been tough and I had all these obligations to meet, I was tired, stressed and frustrated. Just like a soft cookie I was crumbling to pieces but in my head.

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Many of us have read or heard about Mark Manson‘s famous The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck book. It throws more light on this issue but I’ll delve into a bit from my perspective. (Subscribe to his mail listing, there’s great content)

It’s okay not to be okay. A while back I read somewhere that that statement is just an excuse to have people complain and not get stuff done. Well I don’t agree entirely.

Society has a way of pushing us to be strong all the time even when you are just too sad to actually be strong. We are urged to be positive all the time which in reality is not possible. Infact I think it’s not fair, it’s totally and absolutely okay not to be fine all the time.

We all deserve to feel what we need to feel, be it anger, disappointment, happiness you name it. Sometimes we have bad days, we should be able to mourn our losses and cry if it’s what will make us feel better in that moment.

Being a first child I thought I had to have it all together for the sake of my siblings. I wanted them to look up to me so badly I put aside my plans to impress them. This broke me and I’m still recovering. Let’s not forget that none of them asked me to be but I put all this pressure on myself. It was all in my head.

When I’m not in the right mindset I’ll withdraw from people, listen to music, log out of all my social media and enjoy my solitude. Some days when I can’t talk to anybody i’ll cry because it helps me feel better. I’ve lost a couple of friends as result of this but that is also okay.

Accepting that it’s okay not to be strong, it’s okay not to have all the answers, it’s okay to be lost sometimes, it’s okay not to hold back your tears actually makes you stronger.

Acknowledging that it’s just a temporary phase helps you get out of the sad times faster than when you fight it off and act strong yet your breaking on the inside.

Feel free to share your opinions on this in the comments.

Until tomorrow!!

#WinterABC Day 14 Let’s Get Cultural

My inconsistency the last two weeks is embarrassing. I apologize truly and will not give up because i pledged to this. Day 14’s topic was about sharing a cultural aspect from my country or community.

Belonging to two tribes should have given me the upper hand on what to share but that’s just another embarrassment for me to take home. Another embarrassment is how most tribes in Uganda have adopted the Kwanjula culture from the Baganda *Luganda to mean Introduction Ceremony*

I’ve always asked my mother whether there is a subtle way of introducing a partner in our times without being so extra. Her reply is always the same, apparently she is modern and all that extravagance we see these days is too dramatic and such a waste of time and money. To be honest i think she says that to get me off her back and because there’s no man to introduce yet. (I’m very certain things will take a different turn when the time comes)

Kwanjula translated loosely is to introduce someone. The Baganda have a whole marriage process but i’m only familiar with the Kukyala, Kwanjula, Mbagga order that is Visitation, Introduction, Wedding.

The Kukyala (visitation) is where the daughter brings her boyfriend at the time to visit her parents and talk about his intentions with her. Basically they sit in the living room all clad in their cultural outfits planning on how to sell you off and all you do is sit still and look pretty. That’s what i have been told anyways. Recent research, (by me) revealed that in true Buganda culture the boyfriend is not supposed to step foot in the girlfriend’s father’s compound. Rather he is to visit the woman’s paternal aunt and she does the vetting for the parents and prepare him to meet the macho man of the household in occasion two.

Then comes the Kwanjula. At this point in time, the bride price has been discussed and approved. The dates for the wedding and introduction are sometimes set during the Kukyala. The introduction ceremony is where both families come together to know each other more like a meet and greet. Others believe it is also an official engagement ceremony. There are so many assumptions and that is why i don’t get non Buganda tribes adopting this culture.

There is exchange of gifts at the Kwanjula, talking about bags of sugar, a truck of cattle, furniture, numerous food stuffs, gomesis, kanzus (cultural apparel for Baganda) for the parents and aunts and so much more.

The Gifts!!

The outstanding gifts are the cocks given to the brothers of the bride and the suitcase filled with lingerie and other sex appealing attire for the bride to lure her husband in the bedroom. I attended a Kwanjula meeting late last year and i must say it was interesting. All throughout the ceremony the bride’s family is introduced/staged to the groom’s side, they’ll have a feast later in the day the groom will engage the bride with a ring. They then exchange gifts as well and the groom’s sisters will shower the bride with more gifts. When all is done, the groom and his people leave the home and allow the bride’s family to celebrate how close to marriage their daughter is.

More Gifts!!

Lastly the wedding comes and we all know how those go. I may have skipped some of the norms that take place during the Kwanjula and Kukyala, my research is still on going. Otherwise these ceremonies are always entertaining and filled with candid picture moments. The Kwanjulas of today have been so modernized you’d think you are at a wedding reception (the extravagance and drama my mom was referring too) I say let people have their moment, everybody has a choice, regrets or no regrets.

Rema’s Introduction Decor (Ug celebrity who supposedly set the bar high for women…..not my words)

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There are a couple of concerns with these occasions, which are the pressure attached to these functions and societal pressure to have a bigger and better party, the value women are given in form of bride price and the shame when there is trouble in paradise.

While preparing to write this piece i decided to do research on how other cultures send off their daughters when the time comes. I hope to share some of my findings here,

Until next time, love and light.

#WinterABC Day 13: Immaculée Ilibagiza

Today is Day 13 of the WinterABC challenge with today’s topic being about a notable African personality you’d like to meet and why.

I hope you read my day 12 post which was about an experience in a southwestern village, Kibeho in Rwanda. My personality for the day reigns from Rwanda and her story is years after the apparitions starting in 1994.

Immaculée Ilibagiza was born in the western Rwandan province of Kibuye, in the village of Mataba.

She was separated from her family due to the genocide in which she lost her parents and two of her brothers.

Immaculée and seven other girls had to stay in a tiny bathroom for three months in a house that belonged to Pastor Murinzi. The bathroom door was covered by a wardrobe which spared their lives as the soldiers had no clue how many helpless people lived in that tiny bathroom.

10 years later, Immaculée sitted in the bathroom that her and seven other girls sought refugee for three months

Flashforward to present time, Immaculée lives in New York with her amazing children and husband. With the kindness, generosity and support of Wayne Dyer, Immaculée has been able to tell her story of finding God and how he saved her from during one of the hardest times in Rwanda.

“She’s here . . . we know she’s here somewhere. . . . Find her—find Immaculée.” “I have killed 399 cockroaches,” said one of the killers. “Immaculée will make 400. It’s a good number to kill.”

Above are some of the words she heard outside the bathroom from the soldiers who were more than eager to end her life.

Why Do I Want To Me Her?

I simply want to ask how she kept her faith strong and trusted God during that time. Many gave up, got tired of hiding and surrendered. Immaculée in her book Left To Tell: Discovering God Amidst the Rwandan Holocaust explains that she survived because God wanted her to tell her story.

You will feel hope, a hope that inch by inch, we as a people are moving toward a new alignment—that is, we’re moving toward living God-realized lives.

Wayne Dyer

So I’d love to sit down with her over a cup of tea and talk about Faith, Forgiveness, God, Catholicism and Life after the Rwandan holocaust.

Thank you so much for reading and I urge you to check on your family and friends make sure they are okay.

Love and light to you all.