The Silence

What if i told you everything i shared on here last year was a lie? Yes, what if i made it all up and now life is biting back at me for it? Good news is it was all the truth and i mean nothing but the truth except for one thing. Now that i have your attention, let me tell you a short story about how life is annoyingly interesting.

I’ve always read stories and watched documentaries of how people were wrongly diagnosed by supposed professionals but never once did i think i’d have to share my distress on the same issue. Turns out all seven plus years of my fertility turmoil were based on wrong facts. I choose to say wrong facts because endometriosis is real and complicated but it was not my complication in the first place. Should i be mad at the doctor who signed and stamped my medical documents? In another life maybe but i’m actually grateful because i would never have known about all these fertility complications and the BWUT series which is what pushed me to visit a gynecologist late last year.

After a successful trial blog series, i thought to myself why not visit a gynecologist and check my endo progress because it had been a whole minute. I reached out to my medic friend (also my first roommate) and shared what i had in my mind. She applauded me for wanting to get into the biological count of my hormones. In the same spirit she warned me on how depressing it could get once the results were out. Curiosity got the best of me and see where i ended up.

In depth Audio!! (Pardon the echoes, still getting the hang of this)

I thought it best to share a raw audio on how the process went for me and the effects. Not once did i regret my decision because i’d rather know now than later. Aren’t i scared you might wonder, hell yes i am but it’s not going to stop me from living my best life and handling PCOS like the boss that i am. This illness requires an entire lifestyle change and that is the direction Allure Lounge is taking, it’s time for the tough to get going.

Back to the drawing board but that’s where the fun is. Sharing different stories and creating ideas to share with the women that could find all this useful and men too is what i’m here for. This is going to be an amazing year and i hope you are still here for the joy ride. It feels good to be back !!!

Love and Light.

Brave Women,Unique Tales: A Bonus Story

Hi I’m Linda aka Stella aka Linda Stella aka Ella aka Kelly (Only one person calls me that) Two months ago I thought up a blog series Brave Women Unique Tales which at the time was meant to be a quick series of only three people. Along the way more ladies reached out to me and it lasted longer than I expected.

Episode or Part 7 is the last tale of the first BWUT series but it is not the end. Feel free to visit the blog and read all the stories that have been shared if you have not already. Link to our last story is here.

This is a bonus story which is also my story. (Could not end the series without mine) Following the question prompts that were used in all seven parts, here is my unique tale on living with hormonal imbalance and a chronic illness.

1. When did you learn that you had hormone imbalance?

Seven years ago on a doctor’s visit after my periods had lasted for about two months. It was the beginning of my second last year in high school.

2. How do you normally explain your hormonal imbalance induced chronic illness to people?

Normally I say I have complicated and prolonged periods. That’s for people who ask and don’t seem interested to know more. When I sense interest I’ll go all out and give them the 411 on everything endometriosis. (Its fun watching their facial expressions)

3. How would you describe your pain and what is it really like living with a chronic illness/hormonal imbalance?

The pain is excruciating and very annoying. It’s too much and also very unbearable. Personally the pain killers don’t work for me, taking them is such a waste of time. I use ginger, hot water and cinnamon. That’s just to reduce the pain not stop it. Living with a chronic illness is really tough but lately I prefer to say it’s challenging (both in a good and bad way) I would not know the things I know now if I was normal. That’s why i prefer to call it challenging.

4.Have you ever explained your pain to a guy? If yes how?

I’ve told only four guys. I’ll name them A,B,C and E for identification. Guy A is an ex boyfriend who really didn’t take our conversation about my condition seriously. Guy B found out after i’d cancelled a number of our scheduled appointments. I was going through it and my guilt was going over the roof so i had to explain why i was a no show. I don’t remember how i shared to Guy C and E.

5.What was their reaction?

Guy A’s reaction was disrespectful. Guys B,C and E handled it rather well. One of them even went to YouTube to watch a visual representation of what i was going through. (How sweet!!)

6. What coping mechanisms have helped you survive life with hormone imbalance/chronic illness?

Truth be told all my coping mechanisms are trial and error. This month they’ll work and three months down my body will play numb to them. A few include eating nut free meals during a flare up, avoiding caffeine of all sorts (I’m addicted to coffee) and not owning bright colored clothes to save myself the embarrassment.

7.Has the hormonal imbalance/chronic illness affected your eating habits?

After my extensive research on endometriosis i learned that i’d been consuming tonnes of food high in inflammation. Yes it has affected my eating. Now my focus is much on anti-inflammatory foods, fruits, vegetables, healthy proteins and fiber. I don’t think my tongue can taste ice cream anymore.

8.What myths /assumptions have you heard people say about your hormonal imbalance?

In regards to the long and heavy periods caused by hormonal imbalance, we are the most fertile women. That is such a myth other wise we would not be worried about conceiving, would we?

9.What would you want the world to know about living with a chronic illness/hormonal imbalance?

It’s special. Before I got so interested in my illness I lived normally. By that I mean, wait for my heavy almost two months long periods and the excruciating pain then sit back for three months and wait for the cycle to repeat itself. After researching, reading a couple of blogs and watching stories of women dealing with such conditions. I’m proud to say we are special, despite our differences we are special and so are our conditions.

10.Lastly, two people you would like to thank for supporting you when times with the illness get tough.

God tops my list. There are times I deliberately didn’t pray because I was angry at God. Kept asking myself why me, how can you give one person this much pain and all the other rants you are familiar with by by now. I’m not healed biologically but there’s a special healing I feel. It’s only God’s love and grace which has given me that feeling.

My family (not one person but rules are meant to be broken) They’ve been there and listened to my rants not forgetting how patient they were with me. Some have felt the pain with me. They call and ask if anything has changed. You are the best and I love each one of you.

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PARTING WORDS (Only to end the series): Thank you so much to all the contributors. You are amazing, uniquely and wonderfully made. Now more than ever i believe in the phrase “there is power in numbers”. Thank you so much to all our readers, those who shared and even those who reached out to me when i had taken a break.

There’s so much more on the way and i’d love for all of you stick around and enjoy what is yet to come. Visit akellolinda.com search for Brave Women, Unique Tales to read all our stories on the series.

BWUT Part 7: Miss Green’s Ordeal

I’ve religiously read all the tales that have been shared so far and I must say I  find it quite intriguing that we each have our own stories to tell. We can pick out similarities here and there but over all we each have our own unique tale. I guess maybe that’s why it’s so hard for doctors to actually deal with the likes of us. They try this and that only to raise their hands up and let nature take its course where we are concerned.

When I compare my experience with hormonal imbalance with the rest of the stories I’ve read here, I think of mine as a lighter cross to bear.

I was 11 when I first had my period. I remember being asleep when I was suddenly awoken by a wave of pain in my abdomen. I had no idea what it was, until I felt a sudden urge to go to the toilet. It was a wave of diarrhea or so I thought. My stomach hurt so bad and I made multiple trips to the toilet throughout the night until I saw blood on my toilet paper. I freaked out. It didn’t cross my mind that it was my period. I was 11 after all, I didn’t think my period was due yet.

I therefore arrived at the conclusion that it was dysentery. I awoke my mum with a stream of tears flowing down my face and broke it down to her that I had dysentery. She asked me to explain what else I felt and she eventually informed me that it was menstruation. I cried all the more and asked if it always hurt so much, if I’d always end up with diarrhea and she assured me that it wouldn’t always be the case. She showed me how to wear a pad and told me it wasn’t necessary to take painkillers. I didn’t sleep that night, the pain kept me up…

Fast forward, my period always lasted a normal 3 days, but the pain kept getting worse. I’d feel it up to my back and legs, it wasn’t just the abdomen anymore. Headaches joined shortly after, and my oh my they’re a story of their own. It made it impossible for me to concentrate on anything else, God forbid that my period should land on examination week!! Each time I had my period, I’d make countless trips to the toilet because the diarrhea always came along with it and some months later I made a unilateral decision to take painkillers. I still felt the pain, but it was much more bearable and the diarrhea stopped.

That was the beginning of my journey with painkillers. I’ve had to switch painkillers several times ever since…none of them completely quiets the pain, but it’s better than screaming and rolling on the floor in pain(this is literally what happens when I don’t take any).
In my senior 6, I skipped my period for the first time. My period didn’t come through in January, February, March, April…now I should have celebrated the “freedom” if it wasn’t for the crippling pain that came along with it.

No amount of painkillers helped…I overdosed in vain countless times. I started getting palpitations, probably from the drug overdose. My heartbeat was wild 24/7 as though I was panicked.  Everything hurt, but my head, abdomen and back were wedging a war against each other, each trying to prove that it could hurt more than the other. I lost weight tremendously.

Then the paranoia kicked in, I had never had sex then but I thought that I might be pregnant, that maybe I was drugged and forgot. I remember dreading routine pregnancy check up but after going through with it and waiting for the nurse to pronounce me pregnant and she instead said nothing, I was all the more panic stricken. What exactly was going on with my body? I’d wear pads each day because I kept thinking my period was surely coming. When I went back home for my first term holidays. I spotted and that was it. For the rest of the year, I came to terms with living in pain and having no period.

After my senior 6 (last year of high school) exams I opened up to my parents about my scarcity/lack thereof of periods, I thought I might have fibroids or who knows what. My dad took me to hospital, scans and tests were carried out and it was ruled that it was hormonal imbalance.

I was told everything would be fine once I gave birth. I just couldn’t help but think, what about now? Is this pain to continually be a part of me? What if I never gave birth, what would happen then? I eventually got my period some time during my senior 6 vacation, irregular but so much better than none… the pain somewhat subsided, but I was introduced to ovulation pain. I’d never noticed my ovulation until the pains started. I’d crump throughout the ovulation week. The crumps were soon joined by heat flashes that made it impossible for me to sleep at night, nausea, headaches etc.

It soon became my new reality. I tolerated all of that until my breasts started to fill up with water each month. They’d hurt so bad and start to drip onto my bra. Wearing a bra hurt, not wearing one was equally a recipe for disaster. My breasts looked stretched out and shiny in a way that reminded me of breastfeeding mothers. Eventually over time, it ceased to be just water, I started getting milk in my breasts during the ovulation week. I freaked out, I figured I had cancer. I remember my mum asking me whether I was pregnant because my tops kept getting stained (I should have probably worn nursing bras). I finally tearfully opened up to my parents, hospital visits ruled it as hormonal imbalance.

Pre-period crumps, period crumps, post period crumps, ovulation crumps…headaches (migraines), leg cramps, nausea…I have it all. I’ve never known what it’s like to have a painless period. I often have people telling me I shouldn’t take painkillers so much but I just laugh it off because it’s hard to truly explain how crippling the pain is to another person that has merely experienced bearable crumps. I have become reliant on painkillers. I don’t know what new kind of pain hormonal imbalance may unfold to me tomorrow My period on the other hand has relatively been stable this year. I hope it’s the beginning of the end for me (I’ll be 24 years soon). If only the pain would subside too.

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Ladies and gentlemen that was a heartfelt story from Miss Green (pseudo name) I know her personally and it breaks my heart to know that she was dealing with this and we had no idea.

I love you Green and thank you so much for sharing your hormonal imbalance experience with us. God Bless You and enable you walk through this life with strength and happiness.

You ever know how STRONG you are until being STRONG is the only choice you have.

Love Linda.

The End of The Beginning

“Everyone has highs and lows that they have to learn from, but every morning I start off with a good head on my shoulders, saying to myself, ‘It’s going to be a good day!”

– Lindsay Lohan

You may have noticed I’ve been a little inconsistent with the blog series. It bothered me a lot too and after thinking about it, I know the reason. I was worried about the next chapter.

The Brave Women, Unique Tales series is me and these amazing ladies letting the world know our problems with no expectation of solutions. Our supposed solutions are more of a hit and miss kind of thing. So I’ve had to scratch my head hard to figure out what the next step is. Have I figured it out? Catch me on the flip side, how ’bout that?

Without further ado, I’m here to announce the ending of our blog series with our last episode going up today. I have a bonus special story. Just one extra because I feel like it.

Thank you so much for reading and sharing these beautiful stories. I’m amazed by the number of people that have approached me and appreciated the work. My heart is grateful.

My beautiful, amazing and brave warriors. Your stories have touched many both far and wide. I’m very proud of you and so thankful for trusting me and the world with your secrets.

Lots of Love

Linda

Story Time: Where have I been?

Jeremy Bentham a wise man who i don’t know once said ….“the rarest of all human qualities is consistency”.

Where have i been? That right there is a million dollar question. I wish i was here to say my non existent boyfriend proposed or that i just returned from a month long trip better yet that i got my dream job. Unfortunately none of that happened and i come bearing sad stories and a few good ones.

As many of you may know, Allure Lounge was on a role with the Brave Women, Unique Tales series. Some stories were too deep, i was asking myself if what i had started was appropriate. Along the way i learned some got worse, others have seen doctors and have updates on their conditions. So i’m very proud of myself for creating our little community with these beautiful women. It’s a step in the right direction at least i choose to believe plus we have more story contributors.

Fun fact i’m an endometriosis and hormonal imbalance victim (for those who don’t know by now) July through August was a tough phase for me this year. For a long time i had managed to handle my condition or at least that is what i thought. I had successfully managed to go through the bad days without taking the pills my doctor prescribed. I had also adopted a semi-natural lifestyle which now that i think about it was really helpful.

Semi-natural being mindful and healthy eating. Lucky for me i love vegetables and fruits more than junk food so this has never been a difficult shift. Believe it or not i love working out, in the start it was more about losing weight than being healthy but with time that changed. My body was just in that state of not expanding which for me was an achievement. Manageable body weight and a somewhat clean diet had a direct effect on my hormonal imbalance. That is just how i managed to live without the pills and i must say those where my happy times.

Interrupting Story Time with This Beautiful Piece of Art.

Back to the last two months. My body decided to expand, yes that is my subtle way of saying i put on a couple of kilograms. I also stopped working out and boy oh boy it didn’t end well. I’m literally recovering from continuously stuffing fried chicken down my throat for the past months. Whoever said treat your body like a temple did not lie, that readers is some food for thought. So I’ve been dealing with the worst endometriosis break out. It stressed me out and (the devil is a liar) i also thought it wise to stress eat. So imagine oil, pain, mood swings, sugar, blood, work and a social life. *Pause to Imagine* Exactly you can’t make a decent imagination from what i just mentioned but that is what my body was going through both externally and internally.

It broke me so much to put the blog on hold but i had to heal some how before i could come on here and pretend to be strong. I’m getting better but mostly setting my priorities straight. Every passing day i realize there is no cure to this madness. No seriously, on my lunch break it will hit me that there is no cure and for a few minutes i’ll panic. What i do with that information is entirely up to me. To summarize my endless banter, i haven’t been well but i’m getting better. Most importantly i’m learning new and better ways to live with my condition and how to handle it naturally.

Hello to all the 99 followers, yes the readers keep growing. Thank you so much for taking a few minutes of your time to read our posts. I truly appreciate and promise to keep you glued here somehow. The other good news is the #BWUT series is back *insert happy dance* The long wait is finally over, prepare your tissue and strength to finish the stories. Women are dealing with quite a lot, God have mercy.

It’s safe to say we are back online, thank you for being patient. A special shout out to those who hunted me down to find out why i was not writing anymore. I’m truly lucky and i don’t take that lightly. Do you want story time to be a thing? Every Saturday i could just come on here and tell you my not so funny stories, let me know if you think it’s a good idea.

Have a lovely weekend folks, continue to be safe and cautious. Corona virus is real.

ALS