Of Hormonal Imbalances: Part 3 of the BWUT Series.

If we can lean into people’s lived experiences and people’s humanity we’ll realize that the assumptions and judgments we make of people are very uncalled for and unnecessary. This is one of many reasons i decided to create this idea, many a time we judge or make assumptions about people yet we haven’t lived a day in their life. There’s always a lot more than meets the eye.

Beloved readers i welcome you to the third part of our series. I’m so grateful to you all for reading and sharing the stories that have been told so far. I’m happy but the ladies behind the stories are happier mostly for sharing their truth and that warms my heart. So continue to spread the word and let’s normalize these conversations.

Getting right into it, today’s guest made it clear that she has no chronic illness and almost chickened out saying hers is a smaller issue than the ones shared thus far. I assured her that as long as it causes you more than the usual pain, its not normal and allow yourself to open up. I’m proud of you for taking part in this and i pray you get better with time. Love and light to you my dear.

Welcome Desire PK to the Brave Women, Unique Tales series and this is her story……bonne lecture *French to mean enjoy reading*

1. When did you learn that you had hormone imbalance?

I cannot say I have had any hormonal imbalances but I can say I have had a very weird menstrual cycle from age 14 last between 7 to 14 days a month with excruciating cramp pains that take three to four days and a very heavy flow of blood out of my system. When I was younger I was told that this would change to 2 to 3 days, over 10 years later and nothing has changed.

2. How do you normally explain your hormonal imbalance induced chronic illness to people?

I would not call mine a chronic disease per se because well, its just nature. It gets very hard when other women are opening up about their cycles and I mention mine. Often times me sharing is followed with a lot of pity and shock

3. How would you describe your pain and what is it really like living with a chronic illness/hormonal imbalance?

I have very very painful cramps

4. Have you ever explained your pain to a guy? If yes how?

Yes I have, all I do is tell them straight up about it and luckily none has found it weird – surprisingly, they react better than the girls 

5. What was their reaction?

Comfort and need to help in any possible way

6. What coping mechanisms have helped you survive life with hormone imbalance/chronic illness?

 After a few years of having painful cramps, I learned how to deal with it all. I do not take any medications but rather I lay in bed and sulk the pain away. I have to also put on 3 pads at a go (its something I invented) to avoid staining, and then I keep checking in (making visits to the loos every 30 minutes ) to ensure that I am safe. I have had to leave important work tasks due to staining myself at work even though I take all safety precautions. It’s really hard.

7. Has the hormonal imbalance/chronic illness affected your eating habits?

Usually, during that time of the month for me, I tend to prefer eating vegetables and I hate any meaty meals and I prefer lots of comfort food

8. What myths /assumptions have you heard people say about your hormonal imbalance?

That it means am very fertile – LOL

9. What would you want the world to know about living with a chronic illness/hormonal imbalance?

It’s okay. It’s okay to be different really, to exceed the ordinary. Different is good because that way you get to see a whole different perspective of things that you wouldn’t have seen or experienced if it was all ordinary for you and that you are not alone. There is always someone else living with the same condition and they may be worse so be grateful it did not get as far as theirs. You are not alone.

10. Lastly, two people, you would like to thank for supporting you when times with the illness get tough

  • God
  • My family, friends and all the guys I have told and have not made it seem like I have a problem

Hope you enjoyed today’s story. More stories are on the way and i can’t wait to share them with you.

Love and Light to you all.

The H.I Chronicles.

Welcome back to the Brave Women Unique Tales blog series. Last weekend I hosted Flower and I’m very grateful for all your responses and reactions. Flower herself was amazed by them, she appreciates and is glad she took part in this. Her story encouraged a couple of other women to open up about how they are dealing with H.I and some chronic illnesses. Thank you for trusting me with your stories and i’ll do them justice by sharing and letting the world know.

On this new episode of #BWUT we have Leila. I like how raw and honest she was while telling her story. I could feel the weight come off as she kept opening up. I’m very proud of you Leila and i hope we can continue this journey of healing and acceptance together. Ladies with similar conditions, my prayer is that you know you are not alone.

Ladies and gentlemen i present to you Leila another brave woman sharing her unique story. Enjoy!!!…

I’m 28 years old and I struggle with hormonal imbalance.  My particular case manifests through irregular periods. When I say irregular I don’t just mean I miss a few periods here and there. I mean a totally unpredictable cycle. I can’t use those cute period tracker apps nor calendars that the average woman uses because what I have isn’t a cycle… it’s more like a roller coaster.

Anyway, since my very first period, I would go months without a period and when it did come, it would either be prolonged or quite heavy.  In S.5 I had a three week long period, went to the doctor, there was nothing wrong with me so I was given supplements and sent on my way. In S.6 vacation, I had a period so heavy, I had to change pads hourly or less. WHY MOTHER NATURE WHYY??  That time I was given an injection to stop the bleeding.

First year is when I realized something was terribly off. I was on my period on and off for 9 months. Yes, 9 months.  Let me put that in perspective…in the time that a woman conceives, carries a baby to term and  gives birth to her bouncing little one, I was on my period. During that period,  I would bleed for a month, then have a week off, three weeks, a few days off, 6 weeks, 5 days off, 8 weeks, week off and so on and so forth. My mum had to buy me a carton (who knew they even existed?) of pads.  Anyway, I visited numerous doctors, got scans and ultra sounds…but nothing was wrong with my uterus. I was then ordered to take tests to determine the state of my hormones and that’s when I found out I had hormonal imbalance. To date, I struggle, and as I write this, the red witch has been here for 21 days despite being on the contraceptive pill (which is supposed to help with menstrual regulation). I still deal with periods so heavy I resort to using pampers.  Yes, you read that right.  It’s embarrassing, and really frustrating. I hate being on my period.  The moment I find out I am, I get sad because I don’t know how long it will last, or how heavy it will be. Will it be so heavy I can’t freely leave home? Will it last longer than a month? Sometimes I’m lucky and it’s relatively light and short.  Other times, it comes at me with a vengeance.

Not many people know that I deal with hormonal imbalance, only my family, friends I’ve roomed with and two others who have the same problem.  I have only ever told one guy about my struggles. He’s a really good friend and when I told him…he didn’t react like a typical guy. He listened and empathized because his sister suffers with the same issues.  Would I tell another guy? I’m not sure I want to go through the trouble of explaining to a clueless man what I go through. Maybe if I decide to settle down, then I’d consider it.

The one positive I find in my condition is that I can go months without a period. “How is that a positive?” I hear you ask. Well, dear one, during those blood free months I relish the freedom of being dry…of being able to move around freely without constantly checking to make sure I haven’t stained myself (I once stained the light green seats of a restaurant. I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me), I relish the freedom of sleeping naked, of feeling free. I dance for joy because I know that when the period does come, I’ll most likely miss those dry days. When the period comes and it’s an uncomfortable one, I try to remain positive, stay hydrated, shower as often as I need to and when it comes to an end…I rejoice! (I may or may not twerk happily) .

I wish women would talk to each other more often and openly about periods. We could be each other’s support systems, share our journeys and know that we don’t suffer alone. I once had an impromptu period discussion with friends. We found that most of us did not have “normal periods” and it felt good to talk to people who get it. We all left feeling lighter.  I’ve also had really great support from my mother who worries about me more than I worry about myself. She’s always looking for solutions for me…she never ceases to take an interest in my health especially regarding my period and I love her for that. My friends and siblings have always been understanding  and supportive, which makes everything easier to deal with. Also , music. Ladies , never underestimate the power of music to make you feel better.

If you struggle with hormonal imbalance, I hope reading this let’s you know you’re not alone.

Sending love and hugs your way, Leila.